Previously, Our fearless feathered friend had found her one true love "Onion Man" and much to the dismay of the poor man both he and Uglina were married. After a rather strange wedding ceremony Uglina's parents arrived to inspect and interrogate Uglina's new husband, Despite Dad Duckling's disapproval of the creatures new spouse Uglina decided to remain wed undeterred by the frowning from her parents.
Our story picks up where we left off, The very next morning. On the scene is our very own outdated explorer of all things eccentric "Narrator Guy" and his underpaid camera man "Dave" who are both excited to be filming another episode of a day in the life of the Yellow Crested Big Nose, One of natures most weirdest natural phenomenons.....
Narrator Guy: Behold, The sleeping duckling, Truly a wonderous sight!
Dave: Yeah, Wonderous is'nt exactly the word i would use.
Narrator Guy: Oh? And what word would you use my unamusing understudy?
Dave: Not exactly one i could say on camera
Narrator Guy: Oh be quiet Dave, I'm not in the mood for your foul language....
Dave: *Interupts* Ha! Thats quite funny, Fowl language. Good one boss.
Narrator Guy: What are you talking about? Nevermind, There's the star of our show and my ticket to winning best documentary 2016! I'll get a Nobel peace prize if it's the last thing i do!
Uglina: Quack! *Yawns* Me sleepy.
Narrator Guy: Sleepy? But you've got a big day ahead of you little ducky, No time to be tired this morning!
Uglina: *Inquisitivly* Quack?
Dave: What he means is, We were planning on filming you at work today.
Uglina: Quack! Work? What is work?
Narrator Guy: What is work?! How could you not know what work is? How do you pay the bills? How do you pay for electricity? How can you afford all this furniture?
Uglina: Quack! Me dunno, Stuff was here when i moved in. Fished bed and stuff out of pond.
Narrator Guy: Now who would throw away a perectly good...... No, For some strange reason none of that suprises me. I'm not even going to question it, From the short but eye opening visit into your strange but humble life i can very well believe you fished all of that fodder out of the lake.
Uglina: Quack! Who you calling fodder?
Narrator Guy: Nevermind that, How are you going to support your new family? A new job maybe?
Uglina: Quack! I get Job, I go work.
Narrator Guy: Excellent, This should be good televison. Dave, Make sure you catch everything on film. We dont want to miss this!
Dave: Hey, Boss. She's getting away.
Narrator Guy: Go, Go, Go!
At Town Hall ~
Uglina: Sign is..... Confusing.
Mayor Goodfellow: I hope the election is'nt soon, I have'nt even prepared a speech this year.
Uglina: Quack! Sign is scary, Burn it with fire!
Mayor Goodfellow: What is that citizen doing? *Shouts to Uglina* Hey you! What are you doing?!
Uglina: Quack! Sign is evil! Tells me to walk across road, But there is cars. I get run over if i listen to sign.
Mayor Goodfellow: Can i help you?
Uglina: Quack! Me want work.
Mayor Goodfellow: Work you say? I think i have just the job for a perceptive citizen such as yourself. Oh and dont forget to vote for me at the next election.
Narrator Guy: You cant be serious! This whole town has gone mad, Mad i say!
At the Police Station ~
Policewoman: Hi, Welcome to Hidden Springs Police Department. What's your emergency?
Uglina: Quack! Me want a job!
Policewoman: Oh, you must be the new recruit Mayor Goodfellow told us about. Here's your uniform, You will be handling incomming calls for us today.
Uglina: Yay! Me got job!
Policewoman: Uh, Yeah. Say, You're not the person that phoned us a few days ago stating you were lonely and needed pizza are you?
Uglina: Quack! No! You got wrong person.
Outside ~
*Phone rings*
Uglina: Hello, This Uglina.
Caller: Hi, Is that the police. I need help.
Uglina: No, Is not police. This Uglina.
Caller: But, I need help. My T.V has been stolen!
Uglina: This not police! THIS UGLINA!
Caller: But, How will i watch Disasterchef?
Uglina: Quack! What is disaster of shelf?
Caller: You know, Disasterchef. It's a cooking program. You cook food and serve it to judges in order to win money.
Uglina: Money? Quack! Me need money, Thanks phone. Me join chef program, Police job is boring.
*hangs up*
At the Disasterchef Studio ~
Kim the Host: Hello and welcome to today's episode of Disasterchef! *Applause* I'm Kim Lee and i will be your host for today. In the kitchen this afternoon we have two very talented young chefs, In the blue kitchen all the way from France we have Chef Paschal! *Applause*
Paschal: Oui, Eeet iz so good to be ere.
Kim: And what will you be cooking for us this afternoon Paschal?
Paschal: Aye av dezided to prepare for you, Pan fried zcollops with ze mint zauce, Whole roast duck a l' orange paired with ze finest bottle of chateau blanc nectare' 1857 and ze fresh ztrawberry ize crem' for dezzert.
Kim: Sounds yummy! And so our second chef, In the red kitchen all the way from exotic Hidden Springs is local resident and pond dweller Uglina Duckling! *Applause*
Uglina: Quack! Where is applause coming from? There no audience, There no people here.
Kim: Shh! The viewers dont know that! So Ug, What are you cooking for us?
Uglina: Food.
Kim: Eh *Sarcasticaly* Sounds great. So with our two chefs prepped and ready, It's time to begin. Your time starts now!
Narrator Guy: That's it Uglina, Good work. Just keep going and your sure to beat that farcical frenchman and that snooty patooty t.v host.
Kim: The chefs are well on there way to preparing there meals, Uglina seems to be mixing some sort of sauce.....now she's adding, Uh chopped something, Cheese i think or maybe it's......Nope now she's adding mustard. Oh and she's stiring the mixture with her nose, very......Exotic.
*Uglina waddles over to the blue kitchen and grabs an orange juice from the blue fridge*
Narrator Guy: Uh, Uglina dear. Are'nt you supposed to be watching the oven?
Uglina: Quack?
*Fire alarm sounds*
Uglina: Quack! Fire bad! Fire bad!
*Oven burts into flames*
Kim: Dont panic everyone, It's all under controll. Oh who am i kidding? Run for your lives! T.V hosts first!
Narrator Guy: Looks like our T.V host has done a runner. Good lord, What to do, What to do?
Dave: Dont worry boss, I called the fire brigade. They are on there way.
Narrator Guy: Oh thank goodness. Where would we be without you Dave?
Dave: Deep fried if it was left up to you, I'm definetley not getting paid enough for this.
Uglina: Quack! It okay, This meant to happen. Uglina cooking hot chilli peppers.
Paschal: You fool! You ave' ruined mah chancez of winning Dizazter chef! You will pay for zat you devious little duckling!
Uglina: Quack, Me getting out of here. This job boring.
Firefighter: Nobody move! It's okay, Help is here. I've got it under controll. You guys should really be more carefull next time.
Uglina: Hey you! Man is silly costume, Uglina need job. Can be fireduck?
Firefighter: Sure, We are always on the lookout for more volunteer firefighters.
Narrator Guy: Is that wise? You do realize she nearly burned down the building!
Firefighter: Where is that voice coming from?
Uglina: Quack! That Voiceover man, He bad at his job. He gives bad advice.
Narrator Guy: It really does feel as though i'm talking to myself sometimes.
Later that day ~
Ms. Rhoen: Thank goodness you made it, You simply must help. My dishwasher just spontanouesly combusted, There is smoke everywhere and my poor goldfish Bubbles is still inside the house! Please you must go and get him for me!
Uglina: Quack! No worry, Me rescue Bubbles, Me is hero.
Sometime Later ~
Ms. Rhoen: Hooray! Thank goodness you made it out, Did you find him?
Uglina: Quack! Yes! Ta-Da!
Ms. Rhoen: Uh.....That's my bathtub.
Uglina: Quack! Yes! Me saved the bubbles. What is problem?
Ms. Rhoen: Oh dear.
Mayor Goodfellow: Excuse me Ms. Rhoen, Is this citizen bothering you?
Uglina: Quack! Me not bother, Me save bubbles. Lady not happy i saved bath.
Ms. Rhoen: Yes, She is bothering me Mr. Mayor! My goldfish is still inside the house and my dishwasher is on fire!
Mayor Goodfellow: Not to worry would be voter, I will save your goldfish! .......Goldfish can vote right?
Uglina: Quack, Save fish? Why lady not say so? He in bathtub.
Ms Rhoen: Bubbles, Your safe!
Uglina: Quack! Uglina, Away!
Narrator Guy: Well done Uglina, You finally done some good at last. You take a well deserved rest, While i go and steady my nerves with a well deserved cup of tea. Phew! This documentary lark is hard work.
Back at the pond ~
Onion Man: So, Ug. What did you get up to today?
Uglina: Quack, Not much.
Narrator Guy: And so another tiring day in the life of the Yellow Crested Big Nose comes to a close, Thank you for watching, Goodnight!
This has been a documentary about the Yellow Crested Big Nose brought to you by the British Duck Broadcasting Association. No goldfish were harmed in the making of this episode, Bubbles is a trained stunt performer and therfore any stunts performed by Bubbles should not be carried out at home.
Credits ~
Uglina Duckling as Herself
Avid Dattenborough as Narrator Guy
Dave as The Camera
Ian Nali as Onion Man
Distressed neighbour as Ms. Rhoen
Jim Goodfellow as Mayor Goodfellow
Kim the Host as Herself
Chef Paschal as The Antagonist
Firefighter as Firefighter
Fairy as Policewoman
??? as The Caller
Guest starring Bubbles as Himself
No comments:
Post a Comment